Exquisite You

Exquisite Spirit takes you into inner beauty. This column is dedicated to exploring and exploiting our Spirit, Soul and Inner Beauty.

Here is a taste!

A beautiful spirit

I asked a group of friends to define A Beautiful Spirit and this is a summary of what they came up with!

"A pure spirit. One that reflects God's love." "A Born-Again Spirit. A spirit that gives and loves, is open to all and sincere!" "A spirit that gives without wanting something back in return" "A spirit that expresses agape (God-kind of love)".

No prizes for guessing that this group of friends all share the same Christian ethos.

As I expected, most people gave examples of what a beautiful spirit is and only two people touched on what it is not! Unlike a beautiful body, where it is slightly more difficult to say what is not beautiful seeing as the standards for beauty is usually dependent on the beholder's preferences, it just might be easier to determine what A beautiful spirit is by knowing what it is not. I think my friend Ngozi puts it quite aptly:

" Often we wear our bitterness, envying and strivings on our faces but even if we manage to disguise it, it is shown in our mannerisms, our actions and worst of all, our speech which almost always shows our true self and emotions even when we are trying our best to hide it. Rudeness is ugly". The last line is what does it for me. 'Rudeness is Ugly' It is that simple.

If it is ugly, it isn't beautiful! So by inference Laziness is ugly, constant moaning and complaining is ugly, bitterness is ugly, impatience is ugly, addiction of any kind and magnitude is ugly, pride is ugly, cheating is ugly! Anything that causes discomfort to your neighbour (irrespective of whether they deserve that discomfort or not) is Ugly. More importantly anything that does not reflect the love nature of God is ugly because God's holiness is beautiful; (1 Chronicles 16:29 - Give unto the LORD the glory due unto his name: bring an offering, and come before him: worship the LORD in the beauty of holiness)

We do not possess a beautiful spirit because the people around us make it easy for us to be beautiful but because we can and we choose to. What's special about being kind, possessing integrity and being honest when none of these values have been tested? My father once said to me, you'll only know if you not a thief when you've had to chance to steal a million pounds, knowing you would never be caught and you still choose not to!

In other words we have a beautiful spirit not because we do not possess an ugly one but because we have made a choice. The choice to do the right thing, the God thing, even when it is not convenient, even when no one applauds your act, even when you are well within your rights to be ugly!

A beautiful spirit is seen because it acts. And it acts not so that it would be seen but because it chooses to again and again and again.

Debbie Ehikioya ©2003

Hello and welcome to 'Manly Yours'

Manly Yours is a light hearted, witty and humorous column on women matters from a man's points of view. Men as you know think very differently from women and therefore have 'interesting' points of view. This column allows for an interactive forum where these points can be discussed.

The format will include an introduction from me where topical and/or current affairs issues will be touched upon, every issue will see a discussion on an aspect of women's matter, this will then allow for a response from you which will be printed in the next issue. You are encouraged to write in and pose questions to me regarding anything that may be on your minds.

Below is a short extract of a possible introduction piece:

Hi all

Autumn is here and as it gets colder you know its time to pack away those boob tubes and bring out the woollies. Not too long ago it was summer and with that came a whole bunch of interesting and highly amusing situations, BBQ's, garden parties and inevitably Ladies. Many were well dressed and many were well groomed but STOP what's with the badly fitted clothes and the make-up that looks like (excuse me) its been slapped on like butter on a slice of bread!

Hold on, hold on before you start grabbing your pens and paper to write and educate me on my misguided opinions. I think you will find that I am well qualified being the guy around town that I am (and that doesn't mean a dog!) Ladies there's nothing more funny to a man than too much make-up or make-up applied incorrectly like it was done in the dark or something! What's up with that??! Oh and also it doesn't hurt to actually use colours that compliment your skin tone, that means NO bright colours if you are dark (I don't care what others says) and no obscene colours whatever your skin tone.

If you would like anything to be discussed, please send an Email to 'Manly Yours' at mail@exquisitemag.com

Of The Essence, the column is dedicated to helping you discover that indispensable quality or element that makes you who you are both as a woman and as an individual. We believe that it is time for Women to appreciate themselves and to be appreciated in our various shapes, sizes and shades.

As regards to appreciating women in their various sizes, there are of course many factors in today's society, which continue to dispossess women of their essence. The ramification is far greater for some women who become unduly influenced by what the society has defined as acceptable beauty or body shape. The danger here is that we begin to look to others to define us.

The more we strive to meet ideals set by other people, the more out of touch we become with our selves. The point I am making here is that we as women need to appreciate ourselves and embrace those things that make us unique individuals. I am talking about learning to love those broad shoulders, that gap in the teeth, those hips or lack of them, those legs, that athletic body - the list as you are aware, is endless.

Acceptance is a word that springs to mind at this point; we need to start loving ourselves and recognizing that, all those things mentioned above are the "indispensable qualities", which set us apart, one from the other. They are in other words, part and parcel of what makes us who we are, our essence as designed by our Creator. In our next issue, we are going to be looking at How to develop a strong sense of personal style.

Please do let me know about any styling issues you want flagged up in this column or any feedback that you may have concerning any of the topics discussed. Until then, I remain your faithful Stylist. Tokunbo Chiedu.

You could send an Email to 'Of the Essence' at
Mail@exquisitemag.com